


If We Go Out Tonight

by vondrostes



Category: Basketball RPF, Lacrosse RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: (main focus is on xarry), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angry Sex, Angst and Porn, Canon Compliant, Drunk Sex, M/M, Multi, Poly Harry, Post-Break Up, Rough Sex, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Xander-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 05:46:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15042077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vondrostes/pseuds/vondrostes
Summary: The last thing Xander expected after watching Harry perform at Madison Square Garden was to be invited back into his bed.





	If We Go Out Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> This is a threesome fic but it's heavily focused on Xarry and is from Xander's POV. This also was intended to be mostly smut but somehow turned into a kind of angsty character study instead. My apologies.
> 
> Based on the Instagram pic posted from the night after MSG2. Embedded at the top for your viewing pleasure. I couldn't resist the pure gay energy radiating from the photo and had to write this.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter for more writing goodies: @vondrostes (personal) & @TerranAlleen (writing updates)

Xander wasn’t really expecting much from a night out with his ex. Was he allowed to call Harry his ex? They’d parted on muddled terms, both agreeing that the schedules, distances, publicity weren’t favorable to either of them. It had been amicable. So it wasn’t like Xander had been taken aback when he’d been invited to his pick of the litter.

 _Let me know whichever ones you can make it to,_ the text had read. Xander had nearly dropped his phone when he’d gotten the notification, but no one—especially Harry—needed to know that.

Part of him had wondered if RSVPing to MSG in addition to Philly was overkill. Maybe it was sending the wrong message. It wasn’t like he was hoping to get back together with Harry or anything. He hadn’t been pining, though he couldn’t deny that he’d missed Harry sometimes.

But it was MSG. He wasn’t about to miss that just to stroke his own ego.

There was little contact exchanged between the initial invitation and the date of the shows. Harry had been otherwise occupied in Philly and politely turned down Xander’s offer to get drinks after the show. “Maybe in New York,” he’d said with a soft smile during the few minutes they’d had together backstage.

Xander didn’t get his hopes up. He knew a polite rejection when he was unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of one. Harry would likely be busy in New York too, so Xander wasn’t even going to ask.

He enjoyed the show. Went home to Max’s place with a smile plastered across his face, riding high on endorphins and feelings he hadn’t had in years. Fell asleep thinking about the way Harry moaned during the last line of that new song, the one Xander had pretended not to know the words to.

He woke up to a text from Harry. _Drinks tonight?_ Xander sat bolt upright in bed, feeling his breaths coming a little bit quicker. He definitely hadn’t been expecting that.

 _Yeah sure,_ he replied faux-casually, hoping it wouldn’t be obvious when they went out how utterly floored he was by the prospect of spending a night with Harry Fucking Styles after two years of withdrawal.

Not spending the night, Xander reminded himself. Drinks. At a bar. With people.

And friends. They’d amassed a small posse to hit the bar that night, which Xander was perfectly fine with. As much as he was embarrassed to admit it, even to himself, he needed the buffer, needed Harry’s attention on something other than him if he was ever going to make it through the night intact.

If Xander was honest though, he’d slipped into a bit of a sulk by the time midnight came and went. Sure, he didn’t expect Harry to be all over him—didn’t want it—but there was a monstrous clawing sensation behind his ribcage that had only strengthened throughout the night, rearing its beastly head every time Harry draped himself over Joel, tugging at his hands to get his attention, practically sitting in his lap while they all downed drink after drink.

Okay, so Xander was jealous. He was enough of an adult to admit that. It was fine. He was fine. It wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like Joel was even into guys anyway. Hell, Xander wasn’t even really into guys. Harry was just—Harry.

Which is what made it all the more unexpected when they finally split up after last call, and Xander felt himself being unexpectedly tugged in the opposite direction by a delicate ring-covered hand.

“Hotel?” Harry asked in a low voice.

Xander froze. They hadn’t discussed this. Harry had barely interacted with him all night and now he was asking Xander back to his hotel? They were both drunk. This was a bad idea.

Xander followed Harry back to the car anyway.

He sent a quick text to Max, letting him know that plans had changed and he wasn’t coming back for the night. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even notice until he’d gotten into the back of the shiny black rental that Joel was already sitting in the backseat on the other side of Harry.

Joel finished peeling off his hoodie as Xander gaped at him. Harry was oblivious, sinking sludgily into the curve of Joel’s side with a sigh.

The car rolled forward before Xander had a chance to second-guess his decision, leaving him trapped in the backseat with Harry and Joel, feeling like the most uncomfortable third wheel in the history of humankind. And he was The Ex, to boot. What the fuck was Harry thinking?

“He didn’t tell you?” Joel asked with a laugh, taking in Xander’s flabbergasted expression quickly.

“Oops,” Harry murmured sleepily. Xander had to wonder if he was even going to be conscious by the time they made it back to his hotel.

He should’ve known better. Harry was practically bouncing off the walls by the time they got to his hotel room, after going through a ridiculous amount of backdoor shortcuts to avoid being seen. Harry bodyguard—Jerry? Kerry?—had escorted Joel up ahead of them after it was quickly determined that his height made him far too noticeable to accompany Harry.

Harry had swaddled himself in Joel’s oversized black hoodie in his absence, looking like he was drowning in it despite being by no means short himself. Xander felt that same ugly tug in his chest every time he glanced over at Harry in the elevator and watched him playing with his sleeves, a dopey smile stretching his lips wide.

Xander swallowed heavily and stared straight ahead, unable to keep his mind from conjuring images of other things stretching Harry’s lips wide.

God. This was such a bad idea.

Xander only felt more uneasy about the whole thing when he walked into Harry’s hotel room to find Joel already splayed out on the bed, dressed in nothing but a pair of tight boxer-briefs that left nothing to the imagination. Xander had never really felt inadequate about his own size, even though he was marginally smaller than Harry (yes, they’d checked), but he figured Joel could give anyone a complex.

“About time,” Joel said with an easy-going smile as Harry bounded over to the bed and practically leapt into his arms.

They kissed leisurely while Xander looked on because he was afraid of looking away, all the while wondering how Joel was taking this completely in stride after giving no prior indications whatsoever that he was remotely interested in men.

Maybe Harry really was a witch.

Xander didn’t know what the fuck to do while Joel and Harry literally made out on the bed in front of him, Joel managing to snake a hand down the front of Harry’s pants before Harry suddenly seemed to realize that Xander hadn’t moved from where he was standing in the middle of the room.

“Why aren’t you getting undressed?” Harry demanded, turning around just enough to shoot Xander a wounded glare, like the sight of Xander still in his t-shirt and jeans was actually offensive to his eyes.

Xander still didn’t move. “Uh…. I’m gonna be real with you, H, I don’t actually know why I’m here.”

“You’re here so you can fuck me while I suck Joel off,” Harry replied matter-of-factly, the words hitting Xander with all the force of a solid punch to the gut.

“Oh,” Xander replied quietly, his feet taking a small step toward the bed of their own accord.

“Why does he get special treatment?” Joel asked jokingly.

Harry scoffed. “One, because I have a show tomorrow night and I would actually like to be able to walk, and two, because as Xander can probably attest, my blowjobs _are_ the special treatment.”

Joel actually had the audacity to look to Xander for confirmation. He could only muster a weak nod in response before stumbling over to the bed and falling down onto it behind Harry, still wondering just what he’d gotten himself into.

“Trousers off,” Harry told him warningly before focusing his attention again on Joel, who seemed content to just lie back and let Harry do all the work.

Xander quickly shucked his shirt and pants, prioritizing speed over grace and then wondered if he was supposed to do the same for Harry, whose lilac corduroys were unbuttoned, but still clinging snugly to his hips. Xander reached up to give them a tentative tug, encouraged when Harry made an approving sound from where his head was buried in Joel’s crotch.

Xander tried not to pay attention to that, knowing that once he got distracted it would be all over for him. He wasn’t so drunk still that he couldn’t tell up from down, but it was hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. Getting Harry out of his clothes was currently at the top of the list.

“Babe,” Xander prompted, pulling Harry back against him just long enough to get his shirt off. With Harry out of the way, Xander could see Joel’s cock lying hard against his thigh, and felt a frisson of anxiety on Harry’s behalf.

He hoped Harry wasn’t planning to try and deepthroat Joel. Xander didn’t want to read a headline about Harry’s canceled show in DC and know that it was because he’d been choking on more cock than he could handle.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Xander asked as Harry settled back into place again. He feathered his hands against Harry’s hips, drawing out a gentle shudder.

He’d been referring to ‘this’ in general, all of them together, fucking like Harry wasn’t leaving in the morning for DC, but Harry didn’t seem to take it that way.

“One round’s not gonna kill me, X,” Harry said with a pout. “I mean, you’re big, but you’re not _that_ big.”

“Thanks,” Xander replied drily, blushing a little when Harry’s giggle was tailed by Joel’s laugh, reminding him in concrete terms that they were anything but alone. Though he was starting to warm to the concept. “Just be careful, okay?” he warned, holding Harry back long enough to get the message across. “Don’t overexert yourself.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Okay, Dad,” he said mockingly, wriggling out of Xander’s grip and leaving him feeling stunned and a little breathless.

It hadn’t hit him until then just how…similar this all was. Joel was the only odd variable out. That and Harry’s shorn curls, something Xander couldn’t help but mourn.

He reached up to tangle his hand in Harry’s hair as the younger man leaned down to nose at Joel’s groin, only to have Harry shake Xander’s hand loose.

“Nuh uh,” Harry said pointedly. “Not your playground tonight. Make yourself useful and get the condoms out of my suitcase, yeah?”

Xander frowned and climbed off the bed in just his boxers to begrudgingly do as Harry had asked, though he felt a little less annoyed when he returned with the box of condoms and bottle of lube. He placed them on the bed within Harry’s reach, only to have Harry look up at him with hooded eyes as he plucked a single condom from the package.

“You know your way around,” Harry said, voice low and laced with meaning. He turned around again, and left Xander to it.

There was something bittersweet in Harry giving himself over to Xander like that, trusting him to treat him the way he needed, while simultaneously taking control of someone else. Xander sat back on his heels, palming himself a little as he watched Harry work Joel to full hardness before easing the too-small condom over the head, giving him just enough length to take into his mouth without endangering his vocal ability.

Joel seemed to experience the effects of Harry’s tongue almost immediately, tossing his head back against the pillows with a loud exhalation of air through his nostrils. Xander was almost morbidly fascination by the sight of another man’s cock sliding past Harry’s lips, finally seeing the experience from a completely new angle.

Harry wasn’t pleased with the preoccupation, apparently, giving Xander a vicious nudge with his heel. Xander shied away with a nervous laugh, but he got the point, moving quickly to tug down Harry’s briefs without dislodging him from Joel, who was only getting louder with every passing second.

With Harry’s ass sitting prettily in front of him, Xander suddenly felt his throat close up. There was so much that he wanted to do to Harry, to engrave every experience they’d ever had deeper into his brain, but there wasn’t time. And this wasn’t the night for that. Xander needed to put his emotional baggage to the side for just one minute and focus.

It was harder than it should’ve been, but he went through the motions, slicking up his fingers quickly and pushing inside of Harry without preamble, smiling a little when Harry groaned around the cock filling his mouth.

Xander spent more time than was necessary just slowly fingering Harry, pushing inside him with two fingers, then three, then two again, probing and stroking with just enough pressure to get Harry trembling the way he remembered.

When Harry popped off of Joel with a gasp and turned to stare at Xander, red-faced and glassy-eyed, Xander felt a sick sense of pride. At least until Harry opened his mouth.

“Get on with already,” Harry insisted before ducking back down again.

Xander wasted no time pulling on a condom and slicking himself up. He pushed inside in one smooth stroke, ignoring the way Harry’s body jerked a little underneath him at the sudden invasion. He grabbed his hips, rocking in hard against Harry’s pelvis, completely ignoring what he’d said early about wanting to be able to walk at his show tomorrow. If Harry wouldn’t pay attention to him, then Xander would make him pay attention.

Joel came first, already miles ahead of Xander, and Harry, who had yet to be touched by either of them. Xander fucked into Harry even harder as Joel’s hands twisted into Harry’s curls, pulling hard enough that Harry let out a shrill whine around him while Joel thrust up a little further into his mouth.

When Joel finally let go, Harry flopped over onto his side, letting Joel’s cock slip out of his mouth with a breathless sigh.

The sudden change in position almost dislodged Xander, who paused just long enough to shift Harry closer to him before rabbiting back in again, faster and faster until Harry was emitting hiccupping gasps with every instroke.

Harry was hard against his own belly, and Xander could see Joel eyeing Harry’s cock now, like he wasn’t sure yet about touching it. Xander didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

He spurted into the condom, punching hard into Harry again and again, and at the same time grabbing the end of Harry’s cock and squeezing in time with his thrusts the way he knew Harry liked, until Harry was writhing and coming all over the pretty butterfly tattoo that Xander had always liked so much.

Xander contemplated leaning down to lick Harry’s come off of his stomach as he carefully pulled out, but decided it was too much. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries.

Xander really thought Harry would be too fucked out to move for a while after all was said and done, but Harry popped up as soon as Xander moved away to discard the used condom, heading straight for the bathroom.

Xander eased himself down onto the pillows on the opposite side of the bed from Joel and watched Harry methodically sponged himself down at the sink, leaving the door wide open. He could feel Joel’s eyes on him after a while, and turned just enough to catch his gaze.

“Should one of us…?” Joel whispered concernedly, motioning toward Harry.

Xander shook his head. “He’ll be back in a minute.”

The first few times they’d done this—Harry and Xander—before they’d ever become a ‘them’, Harry hadn’t let Xander clean him up either, hopping promptly up out of bed as soon as they’d both come and thoroughly cleaning himself off before getting back into bed for cuddles.

Joel didn’t seem to take it to heart the way Xander had at first, merely accepting the damp towel Harry offered him with a smile when he finally emerged from the bathroom before wiping himself down.

“And for you,” Harry said softly, offering Xander the same.

Xander accepted the proffered towel, and then reached past with his free hand to grab Harry by the wrist and tug him down for a sweet kiss, just the way he remembered. “Come to bed,” he urged.

“After I get the lights,” Harry replied easily, unfazed by Xander’s unexpected manhandling.

Xander released him quickly, watching as Harry flitted across the room to turn off the lights throughout the room, leaving them with only the dim city glow filtering in through the window to illuminate their surroundings. Harry was ethereal that way, shrouded in shadow, the lines of his slender body only a suggestion as he danced back over to their bed before falling into the gap between Xander and Joel with a sigh.

Xander wasn’t sure there was anything he could possibly say to fully encompass the situation at hand, so he basked in the comforting silence instead, wondering how long he could stave off the exhaustion that was rapidly creeping in. He wanted to savor this moment forever.

At some point, Joel fell asleep. Harry didn’t.

“I’ve missed you,” Harry murmured. They were alone enough, it seemed.

“I missed you, too.”

“You should come visit me sometime. When I’m back in LA.”

Xander glanced over at Joel’s face as he gently snored on Harry’s right side. “Does Joel have to come?”

Harry let out a quiet snort. “Only if you want him to,” he replied placatingly. “I wouldn’t mind a repeat of tonight with a few more bells and whistles.”

Xander hummed a little as he contemplated it. “Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad,” he finally conceded, pulling another little laugh out of Harry in response.

It was a few minutes before Harry spoke again, long enough that Xander had thought he’d fallen asleep, and had nearly drifted off himself. “Love you,” he whispered into Xander’s neck.

It didn’t require a reply. Harry loved a freely as one person could, without attachments or obligations, or fear or guilt or jealousy. He loved without expecting anything in return.

Xander squeezed him a little tighter anyway and dreamed of a tomorrow where he wouldn’t have to let go.


End file.
